Living between two cultures and identity

What is it?

Being born into one culture and growing up in another, or moving to a new country as an adult, gives you two rich sources to draw on. At times it can also leave you feeling caught between two sets of expectations. The unwritten rules at home may differ from those at school, at work or among friends.

Feeling "too Turkish here, too foreign there" is something many people recognise. It is not a flaw or a sign that something is wrong with you; it is a natural part of carrying two cultures at once. What makes it hard is when the two parts feel at war with each other, as if you constantly had to choose one.

Common signs

Feeling like a different person depending on where you are
A sense of never fully belonging anywhere
Guilt, as if choosing one culture's values betrays the other
Feeling stuck on decisions about career, partner or lifestyle
Not knowing which language, or which way, to describe yourself in
Feeling that neither side quite understands you

These signs alone do not mean a diagnosis; an assessment takes place in an in person or online session.

How can therapy help?

In psychodynamic (psychoanalytically informed) work we look at what each culture has given you, the expectations passed down in your family, and how these connect to how you feel about yourself today. The aim is not for you to pick a side, but to understand where both parts belong in your own story.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help you notice rigid patterns such as "I have to be fully one thing or not at all" and clarify your own values when facing concrete decisions. Sessions can be in Turkish or English, online or in person, and switching between languages is completely natural.

Approaches I use in this area

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

A structured approach that looks at the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviour and works on changing unhelpful cycles.

Psychodynamic (psychoanalytically informed) therapy

An approach that explores how past experiences, relationship patterns and feelings outside our awareness shape the present.

Online therapy for people living abroad, in Turkish or English

Wherever you live, in Germany, the Netherlands, the UK or further away, you can talk in the language you feel most at home in. Sessions take place over a secure video call, in Turkish or English.

When is extra support needed?

Struggles around identity do not on their own mean a diagnosis. But if you are experiencing deep hopelessness, thoughts of harming yourself, or a low that makes daily life hard to manage, please do not wait: call the emergency number of the country you live in (112 across the EU, 999 in the UK) or go to the nearest emergency department. If medication or regular in person care is needed, you may need to see a GP or psychiatrist where you live, and we can think this through together.

Frequently asked questions

I speak Turkish with my family but think in another language. Which language would sessions be in?

Sessions can be in Turkish or English. It is very common to find some feelings easier to express in one language and some in the other. You are welcome to switch between them; we use whichever feels closer to you.

I worry you will judge my culture or my family.

That is a very understandable worry. I approach both cultures with respect. The aim is not to decide which side is right, but to understand together what you need.

I do not have a specific problem, I just feel in between. Is therapy right for me?

Yes. You do not need a diagnosis or a crisis to start therapy. Getting to know yourself better and understanding that feeling of being in between is meaningful work in its own right.

Every process is personal. Therapy does not guarantee a specific outcome, but it offers a safe space for change.