Self esteem and self worth
Working together to understand and strengthen how you see yourself, your inner critic and your sense of worth.
What is it?
Self worth is about how we see ourselves and how much we value ourselves. Self confidence is the trust we have in our own abilities in specific situations. Both are shaped by experience throughout life and can be shaken at times.
Low self esteem is not a diagnosis, but it can deeply affect relationships, work and decisions. Constantly comparing yourself with others, being very afraid of making mistakes, or always putting your own needs last are common signs. These feelings often appear alongside anxiety or depression.
Common signs
- A harsh, constantly critical inner voice
- A strong need for approval and validation from others
- Difficulty saying no and setting boundaries
- Downplaying achievements and magnifying mistakes
- Avoiding new things or opportunities
- Constantly comparing yourself with others
These signs alone do not mean a diagnosis; an assessment takes place in an in person or online session.
How can therapy help?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help you notice the negative thoughts about yourself that appear automatically, and look at them from a more balanced perspective. Gradually practising skills such as setting boundaries and expressing yourself in daily life can also be part of the process.
Psychodynamic (psychoanalytically informed) therapy makes room to understand where your inner critic comes from and how your sense of worth was shaped in early relationships. The aim is not to see yourself as flawless, but to accept yourself more realistically and kindly, with both your strengths and the parts that struggle.
Approaches I use in this area
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
A structured approach that looks at the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviour and works on changing unhelpful cycles.
Read more02Psychodynamic (psychoanalytically informed) therapy
An approach that explores how past experiences, relationship patterns and feelings outside our awareness shape the present.
Read moreWhen is extra support needed?
If feelings of worthlessness come with hopelessness, long lasting low mood or thoughts that life is meaningless, it is important to see a psychiatrist; where needed, a psychiatric referral can help assess whether medication may be useful. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or are in immediate danger, call 112.
Frequently asked questions
Can self confidence be built later in life?
Because the way we see ourselves is shaped by experience, new experiences can change it too. Therapy offers a safe space for this change, although the process differs from person to person.
Is it too much to come to therapy for low self esteem?
No. If your feelings about yourself affect your life, relationships or decisions, you do not need a diagnosis or a crisis to talk about it.
I criticise myself all the time. Is that normal?
Many people are self critical from time to time. When the criticism becomes constant and harsh, it can be exhausting. In therapy we can explore where this inner voice comes from and how you might respond to it differently.
Every process is personal. Therapy does not guarantee a specific outcome, but it offers a safe space for change.
Related areas of work
- Relationship issues and couples therapyIndividual or couples sessions on communication, trust and recurring conflict.
- Personality patterns and personality disordersLong term work to understand and change recurring, painful patterns in relationships, emotions and sense of self.
- Anger managementSupport to understand when and why anger rises, and to learn healthier ways of expressing it.
Whenever you feel ready, I am here
Get in touch with any questions or to book a session. You will usually hear back on the same day.